school

I don't like not being in school. I've been out for two months and wish it could just start already. I mean, there are aspects of it I like ... having more free time, less stress and so on. But I enjoy learning and I enjoy actually going to classes.

The real issue currently though is my loss of perspective. I am here in Dallas to go to seminary. I am going to seminary so I can pursue ministry full time. In what exact capacity I am not sure yet. But, I believe without a doubt that I need to be in seminary right now. That in itself is a full time job, but I have to work to earn money to pay for it. So I am working full time this summer and probably nearly full time during the school year.

I desire very much to do 'other' ministry. Get involved in this and that. I mean, that is the whole point of my going to school. But, school has to be my ministry focus now. They tell us these things when we start. They say that it will take most of our time and we will have to re-prioritize our lives to get through it. I need to make school my first priority in the 'stuff to do' category. My relationships in general, with God, family and friends are more important but on a practical level the majority of my time needs to be spent on school.

So this brings me to the issue of paying for school. I really will need to get a full time 'real' job in the next year to pay for the rest of school since my loan money runs out. So, should I try to stick it out at Starbucks and get into management? Or, should I try to find something closer to what I hopefully want do within communications and ministry? But, I really want to focus on school and not spend so much time working.

My other option is to raise support. They tell us at school that this is a viable option. Raising support makes me feel uncomfortable, as I am sure it does with most people. But, how can I raise support for something that I don't really know how I am going to use? I mean, whatever I end up doing the knowledge I gain will be great. If I never actually have a job and just raise children -- how awesome would it be to invest all that knowledge into children. With as much as mothers teach children, imagine what would happen with a mother that can translate the bible (well, hopefully I suppose). And, just knowing that much more about God and how to study the bible, well, it is valuable whether or not I 'do anything' with the degree.

Basically, I have no idea what I am really going to do with any of this. There is a general outline I can see for my life but I have to figure out some of the specifics and I want to make the correct decisions. I just need to pray more about all of it and I need prayer about all of it.

Thanks.